"I miss my friend, " Mo said and then he turned his head to look out the window.
I reached across the table and touched his hand, "I know you do." I said softly.
He looked back at me and with tears in his eyes he said in almost a whisper, "I feel so alone without my friend. I wish there was some way I could tell my friend that I was sorry." he then looked back out the window.
"Maybe in time you can get back in touch and tell your friend how sorry you are." I said to him and tried to reassure him.
We sat there in silence for a while. I noticed that the gray clouds that had swept in earlier, were now gathering and becoming even darker than before. I could tell just by the wind that a storm was brewing.
At first the rain was slow and then the force of the wind seemed to take the rain and pound it into the glass with such violence that I had to gasp at first for I was not expecting all that rage. The clouds were now dark and the rain seemed as though it would never let up.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked Mo.
He turned to look at me and then said, "I had not seen my friend in a long, long time." he looked back out the window when a huge flash of light seemed to light up the room, followed by a loud bang that made me jump.
"We got back in touch and then were talking for a while..." Mo drifted off and then said, "I kind of got caught up in emotions that were..." he looked at me to make sure I was still listening. I smiled at him. "Old emotions of how I use to feel, but now I know I really don't feel those emotions anymore. I remembered our past, and well.." Mo looked out the window and then added, "What we had was over so long, long ago. We have both changed. Our lives are different now. I feel so silly." he looked down and then I could see tears falling from his cheeks.
"Oh Mo, please don't cry." I got up to hug him. I rubbed his back and tried to comfort him.
"The worst part of all this, " he said while trying to catch his breath through the tears, "Is that I think we could have still been good friends, if I had not messed it up" Mo put his face in his hands and started to cry even harder.
I just hugged him from behind. He grabbed my hands and there we were, me holding him as he cried.
My heart was breaking for Mo. I understood what it was like to mess up a relationship. I knew exactly what he was trying to say to me. Mo's heart was always so pure, he never really had any other intentions but good ones. It broke my heart to see him cry.
"Mo." I said softly to him. He looked at me with red eyes that were still crying, although not as much as before. "Just because your friend walked away today, does not mean you won't ever see your friend again."
"It does. My friend made it perfectly clear that I was too much drama to deal with. " Mo's face was red and seemed to match his eyes. "There will be no forgiveness." he said and then closed his eyes.
"Mo," I said softly, "You will get through this. I promise." I smiled at him.
He shook his head up and down as if he understood what I was saying, but his words just could not be spoken, for he was so torn up inside.
"How do you tell someone you are sorry if they refuse any contact with you?" he asked me.
"I guess you just have to say a prayer that God will somehow let them know you are sorry. That just because your friendship was not what your friend was looking for, that your friend will find someone else to fill that void. " I reached out and touched his hand.
"My heart hurts." Mo looked at me and started crying again. I got up and hugged him.
"Oh Mo, I know....I truly do." I said.
The storm outside was still ragging, but I knew that it would pass, as all things do, the only constant in life is change.
Jo came up from the basement and looked at Mo and then at me, he turned around and went back downstairs. I had to smile for I knew that Jo wasn't about to get tangled up in anything that involved crying, and certainly not the tears of Mo.
"Have you heard from Mr. Cross Stitch lately?" I asked Mo as I started to walk into the kitchen.
Mo looked at me and burst into tears all over again. Dang! So that was the friend that Mo had lost. I felt so bad for even asking. I ran to Mo and hugged him. I only wanted to be a friend to Mo, but instead I had caused him more pain. I felt like the lowest of worms in the world.
"Do you want a hot tea?" I asked Mo, for he always seemed to like to drink tea when he was feeling bad.
He looked at me and then smiled through a few sniffles.
I put the kettle on and got a cup out of the cabinet for Mo. He had stopped crying now and was looking out the window watching the rain. The storm seemed to be passing. I noticed it was still raining, but no where near as heavy as it was before.
I handed Mo his tea and sat with him for a while. He seemed to gain courage just by drinking the tea and having someone who cared sit with him.
I began to wonder what had happened to Mr. Cross Stitch. I had seen him around a few times, so for him to be gone, was truly a surprise to me. I felt so bad for Mo, for I knew just how much Mr. Cross Stitch meant to him.
"I know it's not the same thing, " I started and looked at Mo smiling, "But I have started a new cross stitch A-Long, and would truly love someone to stitch with, if you think you might want to join in on the fun with me, that is?"
I could see a glimmer of a smile and then it was like a light was beaming from his face. He smiled and then said, "I would love to."
"Great!" I smiled and then reached across the table to squeeze his hands. He caught mine and then squeezed it back and then said, "You really have been my best friend all along."
My heart melted. I smiled and said, "Always."
So Mo and I are off to do some cross stitching...what are you all up to lately?